Pat is and will always be my mother, first and foremost, but over the past year of my staying with her at her house, she has also been my friend, housemate, constant companion, and in a sense recently also my “charge”. During her last week with us, pretty much all of my energy and attention went toward trying to figure out how to help her stay as comfortable as possible as her transition to eternity approached.  On the Sunday before she died, after several visits via Zoom that had left her quite drained, Mom asked me very directly not to schedule any more visits.  She wanted to save her very limited energy for the project she was working on with Nita (writing "letters to Thomas" for him to read later on) -- though the truth is that some days she really didn't have a lot of energy left, even for that.  Every day through the following week, she got up for breakfast and sat at the table for pretty much three meals a day, with much napping in between.  We had visits from hospice nurses and LNAs to address various physical discomforts and concerns, but Mom was very rarely experiencing anything she considered "pain".  Her breathing grew more labored as the week progressed; we turned up the flow rate on the oxygen and there were times we wished she would stop asking for the finger oximeter that had become her new way of tracking numbers, now that she was no longer having twice-weekly blood tests; sometimes, even with increased oxygen support, it didn't give her the numbers she wanted to see.  Still, for the most part, her spirits remained good.  She would often say as she was preparing to go to sleep for the night, "maybe tonight will be the night."  We all regularly told her how much we loved her and would miss her, and also that we would be okay and she didn't need to worry about us.  She remained as sweet and graceful and loving as ever, no matter how much her energy waned.

I love and miss my mother more than words can express. I look forward to sharing with others who are grieving the loss of her company, both the joys of remembering/celebrating her life and also the sadness and gaping hole that her parting has created.